When the Unthinkably Impossible Happened

I'm going through a divorce. So to keep this as simple as possible, given the pending status of my case, I will just leave it that at this time last year, health coverage ended. My child and I had been under the plan of my soon-to-be-ex-husband's employer, but that was terminated in November 2010.


I'm a self-employed contractor. I decided to shop around for a policy, albeit more expensive than what had been provided when I was under the same roof as my spouse.


I filled out the online applications at ehealthinsurance.com and waited for the best offers to come trickling in.


Then I sat in stunned silence on my sofa, as one email came in after another. Each and every company declined my application.  I decided to call ehealthinsurance.com and speak to a customer service representative. Surely something was wrong with the online software, I thought. It was probably a glitch. I fully expected that by night's end, I'd have a policy in place.


The girl on the other line clicked her keyboard as she looked up my application. Then there was no sound.


"Hello?"


"Yes, I'm still here."


"Oh, good, I thought I'd been cut off. So what's the situation?"


"You've been declined."


"Right, I know that, but it's just a software glitch, right? There's no reason I should be declined. Can the application be resubmitted?"


"No."


"No? No? Why not?"


"You have a life-threatening pre-existing condition. You were recently diagnosed with sleep apnea, right?"


"Sleep apnea. I snore. That's not going to kill me. I have a machine that blows air in my face, and it's been taken care of."


"It's a pre-existing condition, and it is life-threatening. Your heart stops when you sleep. I'm sorry, but no one is going to touch you."


"Wait a minute. You're saying I can't get insurance from anyone in the entire country?"


"That's right."


"Because I snore."


"That's correct."


OK, this was bad, but I knew my child was healthy.


"All right ... so let's get a policy for my 7-year-old son."


"You can't."


"I can't? Why can't I?"


"Because for him to get coverage, he has to be under a plan of an adult with coverage. You can't get coverage. So he can't get coverage."


I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty certain I started hyperventilating right there.


"You're telling me that my child -- my CHILD -- can't get health insurance BECAUSE I SNORE."


"I'm sorry, but yes, that's correct. Is there anything else I can help you with tonight?"


Was she serious?


"Anything else you can help me with, besides telling me that my child and I can't pay anyone any amount of money so that we can go to the doctor? No. There's nothing else you can 'help' me with, but thanks."


I hung up. And then ... you know that Bible verse that describes people being "thrown in utter darkness where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth?"


Pretty much, that's where I was.